Ferris Takes Over, or, Math Is Cool and Might Get You Some After All!

Blog introductions are weird! I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m Kristen, and I’m the new Natasha. Our friend Tash is currently having the best time ever in the South of France while I am trudging around the frozen hellscape of New Brunswick, trying desperately not to fall and die on patches of ice (so far successfully).

Little bit about me: senior, carbohydrate enthusiast (conveniently lives next to a bagel shop), thirsty for danger (or coffee). And I do stuff at Cabaret sometimes.

Me doing stuff at Cabaret

Me doing stuff at Cabaret

So over the next semester – my last semester, cue nostalgic song that reminds you instantly of your rapidly fading youth – I’ll be writing about what’s going on at Cabaret.

First! 'Proof'!

'Proof' is Cabaret’s third mainstage of the 2014-2015 season. Written by David Auburn, this play centers on one young woman’s difficulty to reconcile her father’s intense mathematical genius and his crippling mental illness, especially in terms of contemplating her own talent, abilities, and fears. This show has everything: meaty characters navigating meaty mental questions, tension of all kinds, a make-out sesh on wicker furniture, Alt-J, blacklights, bagels.

Ya boi Chris

Directed by the ever-super artistic Jasia Ries, Proof’s cast of four knit you an XXL sweater of emotional intensity and pull that sweater right over your spectating little head.

Cody Beltis as Robert proves (Ha!) that you can at once be devastatingly handsome and play an old, mentally insane genius guy. Homeboy can do it all. Cody was recently said to “bring RNL’s sex appeal up by 1000” (Sydor, 2014)* and here he trades in RNL’s tear-off pants for some ‘Proof’ baby powder. The result: a completely captivating, devastating portrayal of a war between mental skill and instability.

*proper APA citations always necessary

Here’s a super paraphrased account of our conversation:

KFer: Cody! You! You’re old! Do you like playing old people?

Cody: Yeah, I love being an old man. My favorite roles are preferably above the age of fifty and wrinkly.

KFer: Dude, you smell really good.

Cody: It’s my hair (points to baby powder-covered old guy hair). The smell of ‘Proof’ is baby powder. Feel my cheek!

KFer: (touches cheek) Wow. You’re an old man with a baby-soft cheek.

Check out that killer sweater

Alyssa Krompier plays Catherine and of course I sat there swooning all over because Kromps is always the dreamiest. Kromps gives a crazy chilling performance (I’m talking hairs standing up on my arms) as that aforementioned young woman struggling with introspection regarding her father’s simultaneous genius and insanity. Yo, for real – she is compelling. And dreamy. Did I mention dreamy?

Another paraphrased account of our conversation:

KFer: What does math taste like?

Kromps: Math tastes like a mouth full of bent staples.

KFer: Poetry. So are you good at math in real life?

Kromps: I have zero capacity for math. I use my calculator for tipping at restaurants. I actually had to be tutored in eighth grade because I was failing algebra. But in the end, I brought it up to an A.

KFer: You prevailed. That’s what the show is about, right? Prevailing? Math?

Kromps: That’s what ‘Proof’ is about. Prevailing. Through math.

KFer: Also math.

Kromps: Math.

Justice Hehir made me cheese so hard playing Claire, Katherine’s perfectionist, probably well-intentioned older sister. Justice perfectly executes the role of “wow you’re so intrusive and meddling but it’s hilarious so even though I want you to shut up I want you to keep talking.” It is delightfully contradictory and she also wore really cute ballet flats.

Me and Justice’s super short conversation:

KFer: Justice, what does math smell like? (If you can’t tell, my questions were all really stupid)

Justice: Umm… jojoba, asparagus urine, coffee, and your mom.

Ooooh dat math

Ooooh dat math

Matthew Finnerty shows just how sexy math (or at least mathematicians) are playing Hal, a PhD student of Robert’s who stresses out about being washed up and insignificant in the math world at 28. Depressing. But adorable. Matt’s Hal both helps make some mess and clean it up, all while being flawed in the cutest, nerdiest ways. If there are any math PhD’s like this at Rutgers, I must know. ...for science.

This was my first time meeting Matt, and I obviously did a great job being normal:

KFer: Hi I’m Kristen, what does math taste like?

Matt: I’m Matt, what?

KFer: What do you think math tastes like?

Matt: Uh, tacos.

I also watched Jasia direct the crap out of a curtain call. It was beautiful. In case you wanted to know what Jasia thinks that math tastes like: Skittles, she says. But she hates Skittles.

Jasia killin the game

Jasia killin the game

You have two weekends to see this show, wow! You can also see it both weekends! You can see it every time (no you can’t that is excessive)! I know I want to see it again. For the math. Nah just kidding, for the making out on wicker.

Weekend 1:
- Friday, February 6th at 8pm
- Saturday, February 7th at 8pm
- Sunday, February 8th at 7pm

Weekend 2:
- Friday, February 13th at 8pm
- Saturday, February 14th at 8pm
- Sunday, February 15th at 7pm

Tickets are $7 for students/faculty/staff/seniors (citizens, not the class of 2015, womp womp) and $12 for general admission.

Fine print: Cabaret Theatre is at the corner of Suydam Street and Nichol Avenue on the Douglass Campus. If you want to come see ‘Proof’, please email ticket reservations with your name, date of performance, number of tickets needed to cabtheatre@gmail.com. Please arrive more than 20 minutes before show time. If later you risk losing your reservation to those on the waiting list.


Production Staff!
- Director: Jasia Ries
- Assistant Director: Eddie Norgard
- Co-Stage Managers: Chris Price and Irene Martinez

- Catherine: Alyssa Krompier
- Hal: Matthew Finnerty
- Robert: Cody Beltis
- Claire: Justice Hehir

Honorable prod staff mention: JimJim

Honorable prod staff mention: JimJim

tl;dr: Math is power. Power is money. You need 7 or 12 monies to see this show. You need 14 or 24 monies to see this show twice. You need 49 or 144 monies to see this show squared. Math.

Next up: RNL X. Oh man, are you guys in for it. #returnofthehunterspiders? #onice?

Love from your old pal Sharkey,